I've had a sneaking suspicion that my girl friend was having an affair with the dog. I don't know why,but you know that funny feeling you get sometimes...Anyway so I was on the phone frantically looking for something to write on, I jammed the night stand drawer and there it was, a jar of peanutbutter.It rolled to the front of the drawer as if to say “hey buddy” guess what I am for? I hung up the phone and said jokingly to the wall that faced her in the next room "honey are you having an affair with the dog? I asked her again as I engaged the lid and looked inside.I was shocked as I heard myself say Honey "baby" why is there dog hair in the peanut butter? And why is the jar in your night stand? You know if she had put some jelly and some bread in there I would have thought it to be strange, but would dismiss it to midnight snack movie casualties, but no! The fuckin peanut butter jar is in the nightstand, with dog hair in it!! At least be sneaky enough to be sneaky!! I have to admit she left me and took the dog. Not only fucked over by a women but now mans best friend....
Have a comment? I publish all comments for future articles thanks Eugene.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
why is there dog hair in the peanutbutter?
I've had a sneaking suspicion that my girl friend was having an affair with the dog. I don't know why,but you know that funny feeling you get sometimes...Anyway so I was on the phone frantically looking for something to write on, I jammed the night stand drawer and there it was, a jar of peanutbutter.It rolled to the front of the drawer as if to say “hey buddy” guess what I am for? I hung up the phone and said jokingly to the wall that faced her in the next room "honey are you having an affair with the dog? I asked her again as I engaged the lid and looked inside.I was shocked as I heard myself say Honey "baby" why is there dog hair in the peanut butter? And why is the jar in your night stand? You know if she had put some jelly and some bread in there I would have thought it to be strange, but would dismiss it to midnight snack movie casualties, but no! The fuckin peanut butter jar is in the nightstand, with dog hair in it!! At least be sneaky enough to be sneaky!! I have to admit she left me and took the dog. Not only fucked over by a women but now mans best friend....
Have a comment? I publish all comments for future articles thanks Eugene.
Is It wrong to masticate in public???
I chronically masticate; I just can't help my self. Its to the point where I will intentionally masticate right in front of the whole family at Thanks giving dinner! One time my grandmother told me to slow down or I would get a stomach ache, so I “slowed” down a bit to humor her. My point is this, I like to masticate in public and I have been known to "adulate thespians while masticating in a restaurant"! There is really no shame in it. I sometimes do it three times a day ..."so what’s the big deal"
Things I think of while taking a shit.
What time is it on mars?
(I can’t seem to figure that one out.)
Who owns the moon?
What does the E. stand for in Chuck E. Cheese?
If someone gives a shit, do you really want it?
Have you ever seen anyone run with scissors?
Have you ever asked, what was I gonna say? And then act like genius when you tell them all on our own?
Sure, I could just look it up but I have to wipe.
(I can’t seem to figure that one out.)
Who owns the moon?
What does the E. stand for in Chuck E. Cheese?
If someone gives a shit, do you really want it?
Have you ever seen anyone run with scissors?
Have you ever asked, what was I gonna say? And then act like genius when you tell them all on our own?
Sure, I could just look it up but I have to wipe.
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